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[Jan 18 2008 / 9:44pm] |
After ending the longest and most emotional/sentimental relationship I've ever had back in early December, I've been an emotional rollar coaster. I go from days of not caring, to days where all I can do is cry and grieve, and missing everything I had. We were both selfish in the end, and he ended up hooking-up with his "best" friend, who I always thought he had a thing for. He's one of those jerks who at the same time is the nicest most amazing people ever, when he wants to be. I'm dating someone new now, but I can't really stop thinking about him. He's the kind of guy that if he wanted you back right this second, you'd be in his arms in a heartbeat.
He told me we were going to get back together, and seemed so sincere and caring about it. That he just needed his "space". But right now, I think it's pretty much done, and it hurts.
And so I'm wondering. When you're trying to move on and forget, but you still want something so bad, is it considered giving up?
When is it time to give on something you know you'll never stop wanting? People constantly say to never stop fighting for what you want, but what if what you want doesn't want you back? Then what? Do you keep fighting until you can fight no more? Or do you just retreat and give up after a few months? When is the right time finally just let go and accept it for what it is? And most of all, is true acceptance even capable when it comes to heartbreak?
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[Jan 13 2007 / 7:15pm] |
justin broke up with me on my voicemail.
saturday. may 13th, 2005 - saturday, january 13th, 2007
8 months, exactly.
happy anniversary, sweetheart/ you know i love you, very, very, very much/
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[Aug 28 2006 / 6:27pm] |
so i`ve been horrible when it comes to food. starting tomorrow until september 6th, this is what i`m doing:
august 29th- fasting, lots of water, and 0 calorie tea, 2 stackers, working out 500 cals.
august 30th- fasting, again. same as above. 2 stackers, working out 500 cals.
august 31st- same as 29th&30th.
so 3 days of fasting, taking 2 stackers, and working out 500 calories a day.
then up until september 6th, i`ll eat maybe 5 carrots/peice of celery/a blueberry muffin a day and work out 600 cals, take 2 stackers a day.
question: do carrots and celery count as calories? aren`t they neg.? or is that a myth.
i need to be thin for school, and it starts on september 6th!
i have 8 days. 10 lbs in 8 days. who thinks i can?
STAY STRONG!
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saturdaymay13th's journal